Three Don'ts for Getting Dumped - iVillage

Do's

1. Call a Friend Instead of Calling Him
This is flawless operating procedure. When you think you might call him, especially if it is already pretty late at night, you must call a friend instead. If that friend isn't home or is asleep, call someone else and keep going until you get someone on the phone.
2. Go to Your Friend's House
You might hesitate to ask this kind of favor from a friend, but believe me it is much, much better than going to his house or going for a walk. If you are feeling really low, you will probably feel better lying on someone else's couch watching TV (particularly if she has premium cable), even if she's gone back to bed. It's wise to call in advance so your friend knows that you are en route and you know that she is home (alone).

3. Write Him a Letter (But Don't Even Think of Sending It Right Away)
Write your ass off on paper. If you feel you have to write email style, as I've covered, print it out but do not send it. Write through your tears. Curse him out. Tell him what you really think of his family. Yeah, you faked it, he's small, whatever. This is your time to completely lash out and let down your guard. This is an excellent exercise. And maybe you will eventually hit the "send" button or drop the letter in the mail. But do not even think about doing that until you've gotten some sleep and reread it, and/or read it to a friend who really is your ally and have been given the okay by him or her.

In the meantime, don't lie there tossing and turning and freaking out.

  • Get up and take a hot bath. Bring some magazines in there for good measure. Just be careful not to fall asleep in the tub.
  • Sit up in bed and read a book. It seems too easy, but this has knocked me out many a time.
  • TV and movies can come in handy here as well. Just sit there and force yourself to watch. Even though this isn't a good long-term solution, you will eventually pass out.
  • Go online. See who's chatting at this ungodly hour. Check out the ridiculous things people are selling on eBay.

From The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break Up copyright 2003 Delphine Hirsh. Reprinted by arrangement with St. Martin's Press, LLC.

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