Photo Credit: Courtesy Tia Mowry
In her first exclusive blog for the iVillage series CelebVillage, actress Tia Mowry -- who stars on the Style Network reality show Tia & Tamera -- reflects on how having her 16-month-old son Cree (with actor husband Cory Hardrict) via Caesarean made her feel like less than a woman -- and the lesson it taught her about motherhood.
Cree Taylor Hardrict has been the best gift that has ever been given to me. Since my little prince has come into this world, I now feel that I have a new meaning and purpose of life. While pregnant with Cree, it was told to me many times that when a woman has a child, their life will have a new meaning. So, I am a mom now, I have given birth, I am woman -- hear me ROAR, right?
Not so fast. Why didn't I feel like the lioness everyone said I would feel like once I had given birth? Maybe it was due to the fact that I had a Caesarean, and I needed to explore this feeling more. Cree was breeched for my last two months of pregnancy, and didn't turn around. I tried everything from acupuncture to hanging upside down, to shinning lights near the va-jay-jay! Why didn't he turn? I remember crossing my fingers after every check-up hoping that he would turn.
You see, I always thought like many other women that if you gave birth the natural way, that's what made you a woman. Giving birth the natural way was a passage every woman should take in order to experience what being a woman was all about. I mean, I meet women all the time who are making it happen with no epidural and no drugs, just by breathing and pushing -- all natural.
But that did not happen for me. I remember asking, what did I do wrong?
I have to say I have the best Ob/Gyn in the world. Dr Kumeitz softly said to me as my eyes filled with tears, "Tia, this is the first lesson in being a parent. Your child is not always going to do what you want them to do. He is already letting you know you can't control all things." This really hit home for me. She was right. Not only was she right about me learning to let go, she also made me realize that no matter how your child comes into this world, it does not justify nor is it the precursor to what an amazing mother you will be to your child, or the woman that you are.
Do I love my child unconditionally? Yes. Do I give him the attention, care and love he needs? Yes. And, more importantly, are mommy and baby healthy? Yes! He is here and in my arms! And at the end of the day, that's all that matters. I had to realize all of this, despite having a Caesarean and things not going 100% as I had planned.
So yes, I HAVE given birth, I am a mom, I brought life into this world, I can NOW say I am woman so hear me ROAR!
Has anyone else felt this way after giving birth through a Caesarean, or know anyone who felt guilty or that they were different from not giving birth naturally? Would love to know your thoughts!
Actress Tia Mowry stars on the reality show Tia & Tamera, airing Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Style. Follow her on Twitter at @TiaMowry. And click here to read more exclusive posts in the CelebVillage series!