19 Tips for Getting Past the Pain of a Partner's Infidelity

"Get counseling for yourself first. Couples counseling is important, but going alone is vital. If insurance allows it, see your own counselor apart from your marriage counselor on a regular basis. I also find that this online support group helps me immensely." --elangro

"Go get tested for STDs and HIV. As scary as this seems, your health is something that is simply too important to hide from. For many of the tests, you can even get results in one day." --theirmomfirst

Deciding to Stay or Go

"You are not to blame for your husband's decision to cheat. In the same way, you must take responsibility for your decisions. If you base all of your choices on what makes you happy, they are good ones. Don't stay with him out of guilt, but do not leave him out of spite." --catherine303

"If you settle for less than you want, you will get less than you settle for. I hope that none of us are settling for anything." --town11town

"I simply could not live with mistrust. At first I thought, 'Well yes he hurt me, but he's a good father, a good provider, and he makes me laugh.' But I always came back to questions. If he went out of town, I wanted to know if he was having one-night stands. If I couldn't reach him at work, I wondered, was he with another woman? Some women may be able to live with the question mark, but I could not." --an iVillage member

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