- 1) A receding hairline is not free license to grow your hair long. Nor, contrary to popular belief, does it put hair on your head where you actually want it.
- 2) An athletic tracksuit does not count as an actual suit. Even if you wear a gold pinkie ring.
- 3) Just because the T-shirt came free with the beer doesn't mean you should wear the T-shirt.
- 4) Not all men are a large in T-shirts, believe it or not. (More men would know this if they weren't wearing the free one they got at the game!)
- 5) Socks with sandals is not acceptable attire in any country. Even the Netherlands.
- 6) Ditto for black (dress!) socks with athletic sneakers. It's the international sign for "I was always picked last for dodgeball."
- 7) Wearing a belt over or under a beer gut doesn't hide it. You look like either the guy who only has meaningful conversations with himself on a park bench while he feeds the pigeons, or Santa.
- 8) Pants with multiple pleats only work if you are a clown with the circus.
- 9) The only way for a pant to break correctly is for the pant to actually hit the shoe. If it doesn't, then you, my friend, are a grown man who looks like Erkel. There is no reason to wear floods. Even in a flood.
- 10) Having multiple earrings in your ear does not say "stylish"; it says "midlife crisis." Buy the Porsche instead.
- 11 a) Your kids will not think you're cool if you try to dress like them. They will just think it's sad.
- b) Your kids will not think it's cool if you wear one white sequined glove like Michael Jackson. Trust me.
Stacy London is not only a stylist for Today show makeovers, but she's also the host of TLC's, What Not to Wear and has been with the show since its first season.
