Too late for bonding with my baby?
My baby is 13 days old and is still in hospital. At first I didn't worry about the bonding because I thought she was only going to be there a few days. Now nearly two weeks later, with at least another week in hospital, I am concerned about bonding with her. Is it too late?
Question:Peg Plumbo CNM
Peg Plumbo has been a certified nurse-midwife (CNM) since 1976. She has assisted at over 1,000 births and currently teaches in the... Read more
The "bonding" literature, while interesting and with some merit, does serve at times to make parents such as yourselves guilty and depressed. Bonding studies were primarily done using animal observation and modeling. Animals use instinct, sense of smell, licking behaviors etc. to identify and bond to their young. When you are dealing with short attention spans, poorly developed memory, and relatively low intellectual capabilities, which characterize animals, the parent-offspring bond must be rapidly and acutely developed.
As human parents have much more going for us! Your baby has heard your voice throughout the pregnancy. You know she is yours and you love her already. You have been with her all that time in the hospital. She will know you when she gets home, and although you and she will need some time adapting to each other's needs and cycles, the parent-child bond is stronger than the limitations you have experienced.
Parents sometimes find comfort in calling or attending support groups held in newborn intensive care units. Parents of premature babies must often suffer long separations from their children and this is a common topic at meetings.
Try not to worry. I know things will work out after a few weeks of having your little one home with her family.
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