Too Tired for "Heat"

Once you've done that, start by simply doing sensuous things together, rather than having sex. Offer to give him a massage (few people will resist) or have a bath together while drinking a bottle of bubbly. The aim initially isn't to have both of you frothing at the mouth with passion, just to connect so you feel more intimate. Once you're feeling braver, move it onto sex. Maybe during the massage, you take your top off. Christy, we're all a bit shy when it comes to sex -- particularly when suggesting something new. So again, it's quite normal. Start communicating through body language first. When your husband does something you like, over-exaggerate your body language: moan a little, move closer, kiss him harder. When he does something you don't like, move your body away so the message is equally as clear. Once you start doing this, you'll feel more confident. Then you can try talking to him during sex. Initially, just make a noise. Say ''Ummm'' or ''That's nice.'' It's funny, but once you've broken the silence, it's pretty easy from there to say ''Don't stop now'' or ''Honey, could you do that for longer?'' Once you've done all that, that's the time to make things racier. You need to work up to it, so you're both comfortable together first.

Then it's very easy to suggest something that you'd like to try. Just say, ''I read in the paper today/a friend was telling me/I saw a TV show about ..." whatever it is you'd like to try. Sure, it's a white lie, but who's telling? Say you'd like to try watching a racy film. Why not say, ''I read in the paper today that 60 percent of couples like watching sexy films. Who'd have thought?'' You'll be able to tell by his response what he thinks about it. If he looks interested, say, ''How about we get one out, just for a laugh, this weekend?'' (By the way, if you're lost for ideas on what to suggest, get a copy of my first book, Hot Sex, which is packed with them.) A great way to suggest things that are wild is also to say ''I had a dream last night where you and I were making love outside/using a sex toy/(whatever you'd like to try).'' Again, it's foolproof because if he looks aghast or uninterested, all you need to say is ''Yes, it was a weird dream! I don't know where that came from.'' If he looks interested, it's pretty easy then to move on to, ''Maybe there's something in it. Why don't we give it a try?''

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