Ah, Hollywood. There's nothing like a 90-minute movie to completely screw up your already screwed up perceptions of love. Hollywood tells us that Prince Charming is just waiting outside our door, or on a subway, or about to walk into our bookstore, coffee shop or art class. Let me just take a peek outside and see if he's there ... nope, not today. So what can us everyday leading ladies do to speed up the process of finding The One?
Don't ask your mom, your therapist or your best friend (yes, she is jealous of you and has been sabotaging your relationships). Instead, consult the good old silver screen. If you want your true love ASAP (as Charlotte from Sex and the City exasperatingly proclaimed: "I've been dating since I was 15! I'm exhausted! Where is he?"), you're in luck. There is a surefire way to snag the man of your dreams. Simply follow the cardinal law of movie makeovers: Get hot, and get hot quick.
The Mirror Has Two Faces
Starring: Barbra Streisand, Jeff Bridges, Mimi Rogers, Lauren Bacall and Pierce Brosnan
The Plot: Babs ditches her overly-coiffed look and always-French-manicured nails to play Rose Morgan, the plain-Jane professor who teaches a Romantic lit course at Columbia, but can't get any action off the page. She begins a sexless relationship with handsome math professor Gregory Larkin (Bridges), who claims he's into brains not beauty. Rose hits the gym, begins a diet, and starts dolling herself up. Gregory, at first, protests to such sexiness. But eventually he remembers he's a man and can't help but get hot for Rose in full bloom.
Bonus of Babedom: Babe Babs shuts up her overcritical mother and shows up her beautiful "you stole all my boyfriends" sister.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Starring: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett
The Plot: Toula (Vardalos) is a frumpy waitress who is resigned to a life of pouring coffee in her parents' Greek restaurant, until the day the unbearably adorable Ian Miller (Corbett) stops by for a bite to eat and shakes up her world. But it's not until Toula ditches her apron for some new duds, gets some contact lenses, and a new 'do that Ian finally notices her (in a hilarious scene where John Corbett gets beat up by an old lady). But just because she landed a man doesn't mean that Toula can hide her unbelievably embarrassing Greek family from her very un-Greek boyfriend. Sometimes it's not just the gal who needs the makeover, it's the whole family.
Bonus of Babedom: Babe gives a whole new meaning to the term Greek goddess.
The Princess Diaries
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews
The Plot: Most girls dream of being a princess, but not nerdy Mia Thermopolis (Hathaway) who shrieks: "Just in case I'm not enough of a freak already, let's add a tiara!" A couple of finishing lessons from her stuffy granny, Queen Clarisse Renaldi (Andrews) and one hair straightening treatment later, Mia emerges as a teen dream. When the suitors line up, Mia must decide between the Adonis egomaniac who never knew she existed until she got crowned, and the boy who liked her even in her ugly duckling days.
Bonus of Babedom: Newly royal babe now has potential to get set up with Prince William.
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt, Michael Caine
The Plot: Undercover agent Gracie Hart (Bullock) has no grace, but is all heart when it comes to her job with the FBI. Even she doesn't believe she can pull off her next assignment: to go from sloppy cop to top contestant in the Miss U.S.A. pageant -- in just two days. With some major help from her fairy godfather/pageant beauty consultant, Victor Melling (Caine), Gracie struts on stage as the striking Miss New Jersey. She may work hard to catch the bad guys, but with her new look, Gracie has no trouble catching the eye of her handsome, by-the-book partner, Eric Matthews (Bratt).
Bonus of Babedom: Babe cop already has the handcuffs, and now, Benjamin Bratt too -- and he's been a bad boy.
Never Been Kissed
Starring: Drew Barrymore, Michael Vartan, David Arquette, Molly Shannon, Jessica Alba
The Plot: Grammar-freak Josie Geller (Barrymore) gets her big shot at being a big-time reporter when she goes undercover to investigate the lives of the cool clique in high school. Anyone would love to relive the days of pep rallies and prom, except for Josie who was a major geek back in the day. Exhibit A: her high-school nickname was "Josie Grossy." The wacky outfits that Josie wears (think white boa) trying to impress the cool girls (Jessica Alba is one of them) is about to land her a yearbook vote for Worst Dressed. With a little help from her ex-jock slacker brother Rob (Arquette), Josie gets cute enough to turn the heads of the hottest guy in school and her sexy English teacher (Vartan).
Bonus of Babedom: Undercover babe gets to hook up with hot teacher she's been crushing on -- without getting him arrested.
She's All That
Starring: Rachel Leigh Cook, Freddie Prinze Jr., Anna Paquin, Paul Walker
The Plot: Laney Boggs (Cook) is a nerdy painter with a major unibrow living the life of a high-school outcast. She is plucked out of obscurity by big man on campus) Zack (Freddie Prinze Jr.) who makes a bet with his jerky-yet-hot friend Dean (Paul Walker), that he can turn any girl into a prom queen. Sure, at first Zack is just trying to get back at his nightmare girlfriend who dumped him for a character on MTV's The Real World, but he never planned on falling for the likes of Laney Boggs. The classic makeover moment is when Zack comes to pick up Laney and she is transformed into a stunner, walking down the stairs in a hot red dress to that really overplayed song "Kiss Me" by Six Pence None the Richer.
Bonus of Babedom: Babe's new boyfriend gets accepted to all the Ivy League schools. Can you say prime husband material?
Starring: The pre-plastic-surgery Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze
The Plot: Francis "Baby" Houseman (Grey) is not exactly psyched about spending her summer vacation playing bingo with her overprotective father, pushover mother and sexy older sis. But her days of being the "baby" are over once she unexpectedly enters a talent show with Johnny (Swayze), the "dirty" dance instructor from the wrong side of the tracks. Some major booty-shaking leads to forbidden love and Daddy's disapproval. But bad-boy love does have its advantages. Baby turns into a bonafide babe, and gets what every girl hopes for: her independence (and a really hot guy).
Bonus of Babedom: Babe gets boy, new dance moves and loses her virginity without sullying her reputation.
Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Breckin Meyer, Jeremy Sisto, Stacey Dash
The Plot: At Bronson Alcott High, Cher (Alicia Silverstone) and her best-friend Dionne (Stacey Dash) put the trendy chicks of 90210 to shame. When Tai (Murphy), the new kid on the block, arrives at school, Cher and Dionne are on a mission to revamp her image because she is "so adorably clueless." The first thing Tai learns is that she has to trade in Travis (Breckin Meyer), the adorable skater-boy of her dreams, for Elton (Sisto), a Beverly Hills babe. Everyone gets a new look and a new guy in this flick, even the disheveled high-school teachers. But it turns out that Cher's the one who needs a mental makeover, as she falls deeper and deeper for Josh (Rudd), her preppy ex-step brother.
Bonus of Babedom: Babe ditches her East Coast accent for a sophisticated La-La Land vocabulary. As if!
Starring: Olivia Newton-John, John Travolta, Stockard Channing
The Plot: Even though she's a naturally blonde Aussie cutie, Sandy (Newton-John) still can't just kangaroo-hop into Rydell High and expect a greaser like Danny Zuko (Travolta) to show his sensitive summer side. After all, a T-bird's got his reputation to protect. With the help of a skin-tight black cat suit and puffy perm, Sandy takes a walk on the wild side and becomes the ultimate almost-bad girl bombshell.
Bonus of Babedom: Blonde babe gets to say lines like, "Tell me about it stud," and still maintain her coolness.
My Fair Lady
Starring: Audrey Hepburn and Rex Harrison
The Plot: This classic 1964 chick flick is the mother of all makeover movies. Professor Henry Higgins (Harrison) bets his pal that he can turn lowly flower girl Eliza Doolittle (Hepburn) into a high-society London lady, just by changing the way she speaks. Hours of phonetics lessons pay off when Eliza can properly pronounce that famous line: "the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain." But no words can describe how glamorous Audrey Hepburn looks post-makeover wearing a beaded white gown, matching gloves, and the most unbelievable diamond necklace and tiara. In fact, this classic makeover is where the classic elements (that we see over and over again) for all makeover movies come from: There's the high-society guy, the low-class lady, the wager that one person can change another, the makeover mama traipsing down the stairs, the ball gown scene, the big "I hate you" fight that precedes the happy ending and, of course, the most important cinematic ingredient -- some serious sexual tension.
Bonus of Babedom: The original make-over babe nabs the man with mucho money, and subsequently gets named one of the "Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time" by Empire magazine.