Photo Credit: Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic
What are fans supposed to think when a celebrity like Tori Spelling admits that she totally lied to them? In her new memoir Spelling It Like It Is, Tori confesses that the post-baby diet she touted on the cover of Us Weekly last year was total baloney. Should we admire the fact that she's coming clean? Or should we be annoyed that she lied in the first place?
"I really don't exercise much, period. So I took off my weight the old-fashioned way. I like to call it the Just Keep Your F**king Mouth Shut and Eat Air diet. It's all the rage," Spelling, 40, writes in the book. "My publicist had given me clear instructions about what to say about my weight loss. Women didn't want to know that I had lost weight through dieting, not exercising. I didn't want to be the a**hole who didn't work for it. So I said that I swam. It was sort of a bad choice. I can't do much more than a doggy paddle."
So she told Us Weekly that she swam off those 45 post-baby pounds, when in fact, she can't even swim. Here's what she actually said in the interview: "My doctor suggested I try swimming. It's good for the whole body and low-impact since you're weightless. So I started doing that in our pool in January. I don't count laps. I'll swim until I'm sore or play Marco Polo with the kids instead."
Kind of an involved lie, no? On top of that, she flat-out denied she was dieting, swearing that husband Dean McDermott was cooking her elaborate gourmet meals. ("We call ourselves the foodie family -- we love food!") She claimed that she was mainly eating a "sensible" diet of fish, vegetables, hummus and avocado. In fact, as we now know, she was eating hardly anything.
It strikes us as funny that Us Weekly is reporting Spelling's confession with a straight face. There's no apology for printing a completely made-up story. They're not even pretending to be surprised. Is that because every single celebrity-diet story is based on false pretenses?
Okay, maybe not every single celebrity diet story. We're guessing there are a few celebs who stick to their diets, and perhaps there are other magazines who vet their stories more closely. But you have to admit, it's fishy that every celebrity diet seems exactly alike. They can't all be swimming for 90 minutes a day and snacking on nothing but raw almonds. And they can't all be enjoying it as much as they claim to be, because dieting fundamentally sucks. Besides, do you know anybody who has successfully curbed their sugar cravings by eating a piece of fruit every day?
The fact that these stories get published week after week speaks volumes. Celebrities desperately want fans to see them as role models who can do everything better than normal people. Normal people desperately want to believe that there's a simple way to lose weight, and perhaps it's this magazine diet endorsed by a TV star. Just remember, next time you feel inferior because some celebrity lost 30 pounds in three weeks: There's a good chance they're on the old-fashioned Tori Spelling air diet. As she said, it's all the rage.