Photo Credit: Noel Vasquez/Getty Images Entertainment
Tori Spelling recently announced on her blog that she's pregnant with her fourth child, just five months after the birth of her third child, writing: "We feel truly blessed that another angel has found us."
Here's what I have to say to them: Can it. When I became pregnant with my fourth child, I was reluctant to announce my pregnancy to family and friends, because I didn't want to hear what anyone thought about the appropriateness of my pregnancy. It's not always easy being part of a larger-than-average family in a society that expects no more than two kids per household.
I didn't want to hear supposedly-supportive-but-slightly-caustic comments such as, "Wow! You're going to have your hands full!" or "One more and you’ll have a basketball team!" I didn't want people second-guessing my sanity either. I wanted people to welcome my pregnancy as enthusiastically as they'd welcomed my first, and based on what Tori wrote, I'm guessing that's what she wants, too.
Sure, four kids is a lot of work -- even if you have all the resources that Tori and Dean have. But it's honestly easier to take care of four kids than it is to take care of your very first baby. When my oldest son was born, everything from breastfeeding to diapering to burping was overwhelming. By the time I had #4, I could breastfeed a baby while eating a sandwich and reading a story to a toddler -- and ignoring a preschooler who'd just been told he couldn't have cookies for lunch.
Tori and Dean have already sailed over the biggest hurdle: the transition from two kids to three. That's when the parenting shifts from a man-to-man defense to one where the kids outnumber the adults. That's when you're forced to accept that you can't possibly do everything for every kid. (With four kids to get out the door in the morning, my older kids had to figure out how to get themselves dressed. They did.) Four kids is a lot like having three -- with more chaos and more joy.
Tori already enjoys being Mama of three -- so let's just be happy for her fourth baby on the way.