6 Types of Toxic Friends and How You Can Deal with Them

Although your friend may always have been this way, she may have also recently acquired this trait because of something she is going through right now. If a friend who has always been there for you, through thick and thin, has only recently become less reliable, you might want to cut her some slack. You have to decide if this is a lifelong trait that will be hard or impossible to change, a temporary condition that will be short-lived, or something, if it does continue indefinitely, that you are willing to accept and handle.

One way to try to change the Promise Breaker is to help her to understand the consequences of your ignored pledges. Perhaps you have been keeping your disappointments about this to yourself. Try telling her how it makes you feel. "Of course, I'll understand that you're not in the mood to drive over, but I was really looking forward to our visit." Perhaps she is unaware that this is a pattern rather than an isolated incident. "Yes, of course, I understand, but do you realize this is the fourth time in as many weeks that you've backed out on something you promised to do with me?"

If you want to continue your friendship with the Promise Breaker, make sure you reconfirm any plans at least once or even right before you are supposed to meet. If you have a cell phone or beeper, make sure your friend is able to contact you so at least you won't be left waiting if, once again, she cancels a meeting. Have "back-up" for any promises your friend makes; at least if the Promise Breaker disappoints you again, you won't be as inconvenienced by it.

The next time she promises something, try saying, "Yeah, right." When she gets angry at your sarcasm, explain that you are simply pointing out her habit of breaking her promises. Then reframe it in a more positive vein by saying, "Prove me wrong. This time, keep your promise."

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