6 Types of Toxic Friends and How You Can Deal with Them

The double-cross could be something even more concrete, like the betrayal experienced by 43-year-old Susan, a homemaker. Susan was betrayed by a married close family friend who was attracted to her sister:

"He continued to express his desire and love for her, and when she insisted that he put an end to the numerous phone messages at her office and she told him of her disgust at this attitude, he turned around and told his wife that my sister was coming on to him. It was a real fatal attraction. I personally phoned him and ended our friendship. I'm talking real betrayal. Our family felt totally betrayed by this man, whom we had all known since childhood."

Susan shares other betrayals, by another friend: "One of my girlfriends is now using my sister and myself as an alibi while she carries on extramarital affairs. This is very upsetting. She has also repeated some things to another friend which were said to her in confidence." This second friend is putting Susan in a compromising position, and possibly even an ethical bind, over the cover-up of her extramarital affairs. By blabbing privileged information, she is also acting like the Discloser (described below).

The Double-crosser may have some real emotional issues that need to be addressed if you are to continue a friendship with her. If your friend was betrayed by a parent or sibling during her formative years, she may have a need to repeat that behavior with her friends. The betrayal could have been as subtle as being disappointed by her parents or as blatant as being the victim of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. Your friend may need outside help to reverse the cycle she is in, of doing to others what was done to her.

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