Translating Man-Speak: What He Is Really Trying to Tell You

There's an old joke about a wife who nags her husband, "Tell me how you feel." Finally, the husband blurts, "I feel...I feel...like watching television."

The awful truth is, most men have no idea how they feel at any given time. Studies show that men use language to establish difference, separateness and independence (exactly the opposite of women, who talk to connect). So demanding that he talk to you is guaranteed to make him squirm and start rambling about whether new Cheerios really are improved.

Here are the answers and explanations to his biggest verbal 'Huhs?' (you'll be speaking like a native in no time). Take the cues from the following sections, so that you and your man can finally understand each other:

What He Says When You're Dating

An at-a-glance guide to his love talk:

A slew of research has established that men and women use language in different ways. For women, talk is the glue that holds relationships together. To men, conversation is a means, not an end. They don't even like talking to each other that much -- two guys can watch a game in silence for four hours and walk away feeling they've bonded. When men do use words, it's primarily doublespeak to stay on top. Here's how to make sense of the favorite phrases he uses for different stages of your union:

When You're Dating

He says: So maybe we could get together or something?
He means: I think you're really hot and want to ask you out, but I'm too chicken to say so

He says: Nothing about seeing you again
He means: His mojo wasn't rising

He says: You're a really good person
He means: You'll never see him again

He says: Let's be friends
He means: You're not my type, but could you set me up with your hot friend?

He says: I'll call you
He means: I really mean to call but I'm scared you'll say yes, we'll go out and it will be a letdown. Or worse, what if it's not? Do I want to go through all the hassle of dating? Get married? Have kids? Aaahhhh!

He says: We're dating
He means: We've spent at least five nights together, at least one of which has ended in sexual contact. But in no way are we exclusive

He says: We're seeing each other
He means: It's down to you and one other woman

He says: I think we should date exclusively
He means: I'm scared that if I don't make things more permanent, you'll date someone else

What He Says When He Wants Sex

He says: This is our third date, isn't it?
He says: Is it warm out or just me?
He says: What time do you go to work in the morning?
He says: You think it's true what they say about oysters?
He means: I WANT SEX

He says (in the middle of a great orgasm): I love you
He means: I love that incredible thing you are doing with your finger/tongue/body right now

He says (immediately after making love): It'll be great to show you the house I grew up in (or anything else that smacks of the future)
He means: Are you thinking about your ex and how much better he was than me?

He says: We haven't spoken for ages and I've been thinking about you
He means: I haven't gotten laid in almost three months

He says: I'm not looking to get serious
He means: I just want a little nookie

He says: How many guys have you been with?
He means: I'm the best, right?

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