Toddlers running triathlons? The New York Times recently reported a surge in popularity of triathlons with children as young as 3 years old competing. The USA Triathlon organization has a youth division, which details race length recommendations and training guidelines for each age level of athletes starting at 7 years old up to age 15. (For example, a race for a 12-year-old would include a 200-yard swim, a six-mile bike and a 1.25-mile run.)
Is this a step in the right direction to help combat childhood obesity? A chance to introduce children to sportsmanship and competition? Or yet another manifestation of overzealous Little League parents? We talked with iVillage parenting expert and child psychologist Dr. Michele Borba, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, to get her take on this fast-expanding sport.
What do you think of children as young as 3 years old competing in triathlons as a way to get active?
My first thought is, “What is the point and the value?” I want to know why a parent would sign up a 3-year-old for this. If the value is trying to help your child learn to love exercise and healthy habits early, watch out -- this is likely to backfire. All of the research says that pushing them into a sport will do exactly the opposite. There are some amazing new studies that looked into the backgrounds of the top Olympic athletes that were gold medalists, such as [speedskater] Bonnie Blair, and found that the number-one thing parents did for them was instill the love of the sport -- the love of being together and enjoying the experience. The worst thing you can do is push a kid too fast, too soon. Then you’ll have a burned out athlete at 3-and-a-half years old.
Some of the kid triathletes are children of adult triathletes. What if a child asks to compete after seeing his mom or dad racing?
Child-initiated is different from parent-pushed. There’s a whole different element to it. Kids do come with video camcorders and they watch us and they want to be us. The only thing you’ve got to do is be the parent here. Ask yourself “Is this healthy for my child?” If the child is pushing and it really looks like they want to do it, then sure. Do the baby-step model. Let your 3-year-old watch from the sides and hand you your water bottle. Then the next year they can help you register. At age 5, you can exercise with them. You slowly build your way up based on the child’s interest, the child’s internal passion and the child’s developmental time clock.
What’s the recommended age for kids to start competitive sports?
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that kids are not ready for competitive sports before the age of 6. The reason for that is, developmentally, their bones aren’t fully formed yet, as well as the fact that competition is too strong for them and they’re not [emotionally] ready. What is critical to ask yourself about your child is, “Can he follow directions?” “Can he handle defeat?” Ask yourself: "Are you setting your child up for failure?"
Do you think it’s more psychologically damaging for young kids to be competing in triathlons as opposed to participating in a team sport?
No. As far as competition goes, it makes no difference if it’s a triathlon or a spelling bee. Children learn to handle defeat and deal with competition of being in the sport winning or losing. It’s a maturation process. Yes, you want to be able to help your child learn to bounce back. That’s resilience and what we should all aim for, but realize that it comes in little dosages. Learning how to handle that big competition is best done gradually.
How do you know the difference between encouraging a timid child to try something new and pushing?
I recently blogged about this for iVillage. You can set expectations that gently stretch your child, rather than pushing, by asking if your expectations are developmentally appropriate for your child; are realistic; oriented towards what your child wants; and success-oriented. Understand the difference between “Who’s pushing this -- you or the child?” Parents should consider this in all aspects of their child’s life, from sports to “Is my kid ready for the gifted and talented program?” to “Is he ready for the overnight camping trip?”
How do you know if your child is ready for competition?
You weigh how well he handles Candyland defeat. When he’s playing dodge ball and having a meltdown there, he’s not ready for triathlon 101. Use everyday moments for clues. Watch how your child handles things with his own peers. For example, does he have a meltdown when they don’t choose him for a team?
What about races for kids that give participation medals to everyone and don’t focus on places or time? Are those better than races that are more competitive?
With “everyone-gets-a-trophy” races, we try to make it fun so we don't squelch a kid’s self-esteem, but believe me, kids at 3 years old can figure out “He beat me.” Children are a lot savvier and smarter than we give them credit for, and “every-kid-gets-the-trophy” activities are absolutely meaningless. By the time the kid is 10 years old, he’s got a closet full of trophies and none of them have any value to him. The real value is talking about the process with your child, not the end product. New research from Columbia University says that the worst thing that we often do is emphasize the trophy or grade or award your child gets. If you emphasize effort along the way, you stretch your child’s work ethic and they begin to realize it isn’t just luck, it’s how hard they work that matters. You should also help your kid handle defeat when he gets across the finish line and doesn’t get first place. While you’re watching sports together, don’t point out the winners. Point out the player who is losing gracefully and shaking hands with the winner.
What is the best way to get a child to be more active?
The key is figuring out what your kid’s natural passion is and letting that come through. One thing that we know that encourages kids to start exercising is the Wii. Video games can actually motivate kids to start moving, especially when you play them with them. Kids love to play video games, so figure out a way to get them more active with those.
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