True Blood Recap: Always a Bridesmaid

Maryann assumes her most horrifying form yet -- Bridezilla of the Gods! -- after quickly taking control of Jason, Andy and Lafayette. They dress Sookie up and pronounce her the Matron of Honor, whose responsibilities in this sort of ceremony include licking a giant egg and then standing around awkwardly while Bill comes up with a plan that seems really dumb until it goes down, which involves handing Sam over for the sacrifice.

The reason he's been such a big deal is some things from the night he broke into Maryann's house which showed oracular signs of him being the perfect vessel for Dionysus's incarnation. So the plan is, as expected, to hang him from the giant meat tree and then serve up his heart to the God, who will then incarnate in the form of a bull-headed man and wed Maryann, destroying all of Bon Temps before continuing on to the rest of America!


Chime in: Were you satisfied with the True Blood finale or did you think it was underwhelming?

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