Trying to Conceive: Finding the Strength

Sweet Grapes call "a childfree" life. I'll make the best of my life as it is and it'll be just my husband and me. Maybe we'll start traveling more. Perhaps once our bills are paid off we'll look into buying a vacation home. Maybe we'll just run around naked in our living room (which is something you can't do if you have small children around, I understand). Not having kids is not so bad, or so I tell myself. Most of my worries are about the future and having children doesn't ensure that I'll have solutions to those worries. I'm more than my uterus and I'm an interesting person even if I don't have kids.

People keep asking about adoption or in vitro fertilization and neither option sounds really good to me. Adoption has a lot of issues that I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with, and in the end, I have better odds of conceiving on my own and having it be successful than I do with fertility treatments. I don't want to spend thousands of dollars and end up empty-handed.

That's my plan for now. If I get pregnant sometime within the next five years, great, I guess I'll be a mom. If not, I guess I'll just be a very generous, "cool" aunt who dotes on her nieces and nephews with unlimited affection because she doesn't have children of her own who need her time and attention. I'm making it sound more blase than it really is, but hey, after all these years I figure it's not something I can really do much about. My chromosomes are what they are, and my ability -- or lack thereof -- to get pregnant is what it is. I can cry and be miserable or I can choose to be happy and to make the best of my situation.

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