Twin fathers need help too

Most calls from parents to the Twinline are from expectant and new mothers of young twins. They speak of feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and exhausted from lack of sleep because of giving the constant care their multiples demand. All these are serious difficulties--caring for twins is often too much for one person.

Fathers call less often than mothers, but they too need someone to turn to with their feelings of inadequacy as parents or providers, their exhaustion from long hours and little sleep, and possibly their own mixed feelings about being parents of twins.

Fathers' reactions to the event of twin birth range from ecstasy to depression. Some fathers learn gradually to adjust to life with their young twins, but have a rough time coping in the beginning. A number of physical, psychological, and sociological factors affect their ability to adjust.

According to Fathering Multiples, "The sheer number of hours necessary to care for two or three babies interrupts the couple relationship for first-time parents, and astonishes fathers who've had only single baby experience. As one father put it, I gained two children but lost my wife, and I didn't particularly like this zombie who looked like her but had no time for me or our marriage. It took me about three weeks to realize that if we were to keep our marriage intact, I'd better pitch in and be a partner. Once that brilliant thought was turned into action, I became a zombie too, but at least now we were a matched set again!"

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