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Charlie Sheen has really gone and done it this time.
Just hours after the actor's bizarre and vitriolic raido interview on "The Alex Jones Show" on Thursday, CBS and Warner Bros. announced that they are pulling the plug on the actor's top-rated sitcom Two and a Half Men for the rest of the season. "Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen's statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of Two and a Half Men for the remainder of the season," the companies said in a statement.
There were to have been eight episodes of the show left this season, though CBS had recently cut that order down to four. According to Entertainment Weekly, Sheen will not be paid his reported $1.2 million-per-episode salary for the missed shows, and it remains to be seen whether the crew and rest of the cast will be compensated.
The move to stop production on the show came shortly after Sheen's seriously strange rant on "The Alex Jones Show," in which the troubled star claimed he's 100 percent sober, used an ethnic slur against Two And A Half Men boss Chuck Lorre (referring to him as Chaime Levine), called Thomas Jefferson (yes, the Declaration of Independence guy) a "p***y," and said he was a Vatican assassin. (Was that last one supposed to be a metaphor, or does Sheen actually believe he's living in The Da Vinci Code? We wouldn't be surprised either way.) If you want to try and make heads or tails of it, you can listen to the interview here. Good luck.
So yes, the actor continues to defend himself against accusations of being a crazy guy on drugs... by acting like a crazy guy on drugs. (Does anybody else see the flaw in this strategy?) Here are a few things (besides those mentioned above) that the Two And A Half Men star revealed during the course of the interview, accompanied by Sheen's own words. (And if the quotes seem confusing, it's not you. Trust us.)
He has a new tattoo.
"It's the banner from [the film Apocalypse Now], but falling from it is the apple from The Giving Tree. There's my life. Deal with it."
He thinks Alcoholics Anonymous is a cult.
"I have a disease? Bulls***. I cured it... with my mind... it's all good guys. Quit panicking. No panic, no judgment... You can kill me but you do not have the right to judge me... I can't use the word sober because that's a term from those people, and I have cleansed myself. I have closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself from this ridiculous... It's just the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning. You know? This bootleg cult arrogantly referred to as AA now supports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math! One of their stupid mottos is 'Don't be special, be one of us.' Newsflash: I am special and I will never be one of you.'Oh, we have to all sit in here and touch ourselves and frown.' Well, you don't look like you're having a lot of fun. I'm going to hang out with these two smokin' hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view."
Contrary to rumors, ex-wife Brooke Mueller is no longer in the picture.
"Goodbye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels; you're going to need it. Badly. She's not there now and we are winning."
He is a magical airplane.
"I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time -- and this includes naps -- I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."
He also has a secret army. Or something.
"People say, 'Oh, you'd better work through your resentments.' Yeah, no. I'm gonna hang on to them, and they're gonna fuel my attack. And they're going to fuel the battle cry of my deadly and dangerous and secret and silent soldiers. Because they're all around you. Sorry if you thought you were messing with one dude!"
And Sheen didn't stop there. After finding out that CBS had nixed the rest of the season of Two and a Half Men, Sheen sent a text message to RadarOnline.com, calling the decision "crazy" and "sad" -- and revealed that he may be ditching CBS for a new HBO show called Sheen's Corner. "I'm close to securing a deal with HBO for a 10 show guarantee," Sheen told the site. "It will be epic, all types of guests and we will focus on the truth and the absurd!"