TV Recap: Ugly Betty

Henry is the manager of a band formed by his accountant friends called the IRS (internal rhythm service) and is stressing over the lead singer's lack of talent. When Daniel arrives at the gig to show his support, he is hit on by guest star Gabrielle Union (Renee). The two totally hit it off and head back to Daniel's apartment when a familiar voice comes out of nowhere "That is not the boob you think you're touching". Woah- beyond awkward. Turns out, Claire Meade was spending the night at Daniel's because her own place was giving her too many bad memories.

Meanwhile, Christina is also spending time at an apartment she doesn't belong at. She is under strict orders by Wilhelmina ("Legs up!") and is trapped there until it can be confirmed that she is pregnant.

Still on the search for her father, Amanda and Marc come up with a creative way to get his attention. Since Gene Simmons is a musician, the best way to get his attention would be to write a song about him being Amanda's father! Now all she needed was a band to play with her. Henry's band, the IRS needed a new lead singer... it was a win-win situation for both.

When a freelancer drops out for a book review article, Betty jumps at the chance to write, and Daniel gives it a go. Ecstatic, Betty thought she was interviewing prolific writer, Phillip Roth. But instead, she was writing on womanizing author- Phil Roth. His book details the craft of picking up chicks, and is creatively entitled “Tap That – How to Score with Hot Bitches”. So classy. But wait- Phil shares his tips with Betty, the first step is to “Approach Subdue Score” otherwise known as ASS. Next, you have to use EK (esteem killer) to insult a woman, proceed to ignore her, at which point the woman will be totally pissed and want to get your attention (worked on Amanda!). Unable to deal with Roth, Betty goes to Daniel and offers a piece about Hilda’s new salon instead. He doesn’t accept the article, and tells Betty that the jerk actually called him and said that he wanted someone else to rewrite the article, because Betty didn’t seem open-minded enough. A defensive Betty changes her mind and is determined to prove both of them wrong.

Round #2 for Daniel and Renee, and this time they opt for Renee’s place instead to avoid potential awkward moments with Claire. The next morning, sees the sexy silhouette of Renee in the shower and decides to join her, when he opens the door he finds… WILHELMINA!! It turns out that Renee is Wilhelmina’s little sister!! That woman was almost his stepmother, so he basically almost slept with his step…aunt??? This is no longer Cruel Intentions kind-of hot. It’s just getting disgusting! Renee confesses that she knew who Daniel was but didn’t want to reveal her identity, because she knew how he would react if she did. She wanted to get under Wil’s skin at first, but he actually started to grow on her. Daniel leaves the apartment in shock, and ignores her calls for a few days. She shows up at the office with roses, apologizing. To my surprise, Daniel actually rejects her- and says that maybe nothing should have happened between them. That wasn’t really what Daniel wanted, because he shows up at Betty’s house in the middle of the night confessing that he can’t stop thinking about Renee. Betty tells him to go for it, she may be really different than Wil (or is she??).

In an effort to rewrite the article on Phil Roth without being biased, Henry and Betty decide to actually try out his “techniques”. She calls up Gio, and what started as research soon becomes a competition between the two- whoever gets the most phone numbers wins. We all know this wasn’t a competition for phone numbers, you could totally sense the tension between the two and it was definitely to vie for Betty’s attention. Henry ends up winning Gio by one number, proving Roth’s methods really works. Betty is not pleased with the results, and definitely not pleased with Henry’s raging jealousy. When she does her second interview with Roth, she confronts him about his request to switch writers- but Roth never made such a request… “Looks like somebody got played…” Why did Daniel lie to Betty? It was all in good faith. He wanted Betty to step outside her comfort zone, as a writer she wasn’t always going to write about only what she likes.
The problem of having Claire around was resolved too- to combat post-prison blues, Claire decides to launch a new magazine called Hot Flash. For those women whose children had grown up and had no time for them, but were not ready to retire yet (or take knitting classes for that matter).
Henry and Betty have a heart-to-heart, and tells her that he feels very uncomfortable with Gio around, and he can’t help it. So Betty decides to cut him out, to enjoy the little time the two have left together. Amanda rocks out at her mini concert “It’s Mandy, bitch!” with a surprise guest in the audience. Guest star Gene Simmons was in the audience to watch his baby girls’ performance.

A: How did you know I was going to be here?
G: I google myself every morning…
A: Me too!

I could’ve guessed these two were related even without seeing their tongues. Henry and Betty wrap up the show by going on stage and… rapping? It was actually really cute! Daniel gives Renee another chance, but we end with Wil saying something suspicious … wait till he founds out “the truth” about her? What is that supposed to mean? Maybe she’s married? Evil? Maybe she’s a tranny like his sister? What do you guys think?

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