TV Recap:Ugly Betty

Back after a week break, we open this week with a video message Bradford left for Alexis and Daniel. While the children wait anxiously for Brad's announcement of who gets to succeed Meade, we are interrupted by Betty who knocks the camera by accident (of course), and then again when Bradford stops and checks to make sure the camera is on. Just when the answer is about to be revealed- Bradford turns off the camera thinking he turned it on! His last words were "My d--". Obviously, the answer was meant to be "My daughter, Alexis" or could it be "My Daniel". Didn't Bradford always call him that? Let the war begin...

Betty muses about how fun and exciting her Saturday movie nights are with Henry, although she is constantly being reminded that he is leaving in 17 weeks and 4 days. Wait—make that 5 days cause it’s a leap year! Wooo!! When Hilda pops by the office to pick up the excess of glitter pens Amanda stocked up on, she suggests Betty ask Gio to move a sink (for her salon) for her with the help of his van. When asked about Henry and Betty’s dates, Betty is eager to insist that their movie nights are oh-so-fun. But Gio delivers a passionate speech of all sorts of sappy/romantic things that he would do if he had such little time left with a girl. Both sisters are clearly moved, and hey- even I was a little surprised that he didn’t say something about making sandwiches. Betty enlists the help of Henry to install the sink, but when he fails at installing it properly and manages to get himself wet- Gio saves the day leaving Henry jealous and bitter. Hilda, who seems to be taken by Gio’s charm braves it and asks him out on a date to go dancing.

Meanwhile at Slater, Willie is still stuck on funding for her mag. Investors aren’t interested in her because of her bad image. Leave it to Marc to revamp her evil demeanor! A little bit of press sure goes a long way when Marc notes, “Britney shaves something or shows something or shows something shaved and it's around the world in seconds!”. “The Devil donates Prada!” is the next headline that reaches the news, and footage of Wil helping the poor through donations and singing to children spread like wildfire and soon enough, investors are calling back.

Drama is still in the air at Mode when Nick Pepper complains to Amanda about the lack of paper clips – which has apparently turned into a new outfit for Halston. Pepper has Halston removed by building security, and war #2 at the office is on.
Daniel and Alexis try to talk out the situation with mom Claire, only to continue the “My Daniel” v.s “My Daughter” debate—or maybe it was “My dumbass” like Alexis said! Annoyed mother threatens the children that she’ll send the newly out of prison vicious con to get them if they don’t behave. That’s exactly what my mom used to do too- a true testament to amazing parenting skills. How do they decide who runs a billion dollar corporation? Oh this is beyond the toss of a coin- this is serious business. And by serious business, I mean, a PAINTBALL GAME. Inside Mode. As backup captain, Kenny (guest star John Cho) breaks it down for us with a little freestylin’ “She's Alexis, big as Texas, she knows what it's like to be both sexes”. A great intro to the start of the war. Amanda warns Pepper:
Amanda: You’re gonna taste the wrath of my dog’s vengeance.
Pepper: You don’t even know what wrath means.
Amanda: So? I know you’re gonna taste it.

And taste it he did. When we get down to the two one on one in battle, they suddenly break out in a passionate make-out session, leaving Alexis and Daniel to fight to the death. Alexis takes a fall and appears hurt, and Daniel is ready to shoot- but stops. Instead, he suggests to sis that they can run Meade corporation together. Halfway through “Awww-ing”, Alexis shoots him while they hug! Cheap shot.

The big surprise date Henry has for Betty… *drum roll please*: “Tonight instead of having ice cream, we’re gonna make it!” Looking slightly disappointed, Betty tries to spice things up by eating the ice cream off of Henry’s stomach. Definitely a lot sexier in theory than in practice, she makes a huge mess and fool of herself when she pours hot fudge on Henry- ouch! Henry can take a little pain so long as we can all see his super hot body for a little while longer! After this incredibly embarrassing and messy scene, Henry agrees to take Betty dancing and meet up with Hilda and Gio. Henry is awkward and feeling the pressure from dancing king Gio, and ends the night catching his shirt on fire from a drink! He stomps out, saying he’ll never be “that” guy for Betty. In the middle of leaving him a voicemail, she turns around to see that Henry has returned and is making a complete fool of himself on the dance floor, all the while being super geeky and cute. He apologizes for being a jerk, and Betty forgives him and is touched that he is trying something he doesn’t like for her. At the end of Hilda and Gio’s date, Gio asks Hilda for a second date. Wasted as she was, even Hilda couldn’t miss the loving glances Gio kept shooting at Betty, and told him that she doesn’t think she’s the Suarez sister he likes. Hmm… a possibility here after Henry leaves?

Willie viciously steals an old lady’s cab and slams the cab door which jams her fingers, thinking nothing of her but well, an old lady. Turns out the old lady was

Betty White

, ex Golden Girl. The footage has already been put on YouTube, complete with a remix to a dance song! When Betty White calls Willie, Wil apologizes profusely and White forgives her so easily as the sweet old lady she is. Wil shows up at the hospital to have the apology recorded live on TV, only once the cameras are rolling White puts on an act of innocence. The ex GG is pretty clever I must say, she’s gotten calls from tons of people and she’s definitely milking the feud till it’s dry! With the possibility of positive press and therefore funding aside, Wil announces that


is dead. On to Plan B.

Remember that scene when Wil was talking to a doctor after Brad’s death at the morgue?

The reason behind it…

because sperm is still viable up to 48 hours after death, she extracted some of that goodness and decided that if she can’t take over Meade, she’ll give birth to its heir.

So yes, Wil has done the unthinkable. Saved Bradford’s sperm and kept it in her freezer. REPULSIVE.

“That’s been in your freezer? I put a Pinkberry in there”

Time to throw up that yogurt Marc!

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