Unwelcome Fondling
This may sound strange, but my boyfriend has an obsession with touching my butt. He only does it when we're alone, but it makes me uncomfortable. Plus, I don't think it's very romantic (he doesn't do it while we're making love). So I tell him to stop. He says it's not fair and he gets upset. He tells me that I should be completely comfortable with him. What should I do? -- rbnkat
Question:Sherry Amatenstein
Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more
Dear Rbnkat:
Butt seriously, I mean but seriously, if this is the biggest problem in your relationship, it's not just your rear end that's obviously in good shape.
Yes, of course your boyfriend should respect your wishes as to when and where you want to be touched. If not, he deserves a good, swift kick in the you-know-where. Reassure him that your aversion to being touched this way isn't about not feeling comfortable with him but about inherent personal preferences.
Consider this: Is there a compromise you can work out? Say you allow him five minutes of derriere fondling and he lavishes you with a foot massage (or whatever floats your boat) of equal duration.
Lastly, consider the possibility that when (if) he does stop tingling for your tush and other body parts, you might miss being such an object of lust.
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