Stop Fighting in 30 days

Week 3: Use Your Ears to Resolve Conflicts

The following sentence will help most men grasp that the way to fix your pain is to simply listen and understand -- nothing more. Here goes: "I know you want me to feel better. Just listening is all I need." Try it and see what happens. If he still finds it hard to listen to you, the following hypothetical situation may help your man understand what you need: "If you accidentally trip over my foot and break it, my foot still hurts and I need to be consoled. I know you didn't mean to hurt (or upset) me, but I still need you to understand my pain."

I have mentioned only a few of the many roadblocks to good listening. You will find a complete discussion of how to overcome all the impasses to good listening in my book Til Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First).

This week, I've taught you good listening skills and given you some ideas of how to overcome your husband's listening blocks. Before I close this week's workshop, I want to let you know that you have a huge "say" in whether your husband listens to you or not. It is your job to communicate your thoughts and feelings in a way that makes him want to listen. This will be the subject of next week's workshop. Tune in then.

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