Chat with Patricia Evans, author of Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out

Patricia_Evans: The abuser doesn't want to respect boundaries. If you have children and can't leave, try to find a way to support yourself in the future.
Tracy_13: The guilt can be overwhelming.
Patricia_Evans: Don't tell the abuser you are leaving if you decide to, because the violence could increase.
Tracy_13: Thank you.

Cmtdarden: Up next is RKMN.
RKMN: I left a man last February after four years of verbal abuse. It started out as just name-calling and went almost as far as becoming physical. I left just. Now I am in a new relationship, but after six months of counseling I still suffer from it. Is there anything I can do to fight it or work through it so it doesn't ruin my new relationship? It's too wonderful to lose.
Saskafras: I sometimes think a slap would have been better then the swearing.
Patricia_Evans: RKMN, it's natural to feel insecure -- and even traumatized -- after four years of abuse. Keep focusing on taking care of yourself, earning money, treating yourself well, making new friends and having women friends. You will feel stronger each day. Remember that verbal abuse can last a long time, but the impact will lessen and you will gradually feel stronger.
RKMN: I have great friends -- even my guy is great and very understanding and supportive of me throughout these times.
Patricia_Evans: If you feel concerned about something your new relationship says to you, say "What?"
RKMN: But I hate myself for how I get sometimes because of my ex-husband.

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