Chat with Patricia Evans, author of Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out

Patricia_Evans: Swfl, sexual and verbal abuse are very serious. Keep a tape recorder on and tell him you are keeping it on so you can track what is being said. Tell him it's for your own benefit so you can make sure that you are speaking supportively, kindly and factually.
Swfl: I've said this but never done it -- great idea! Can they recover?
Patricia_Evans: If he objects, then he is not being supportive and it is not a good relationship for you. If there is any sexual assault or sex required of you that you don't want, please contact a sexual abuse agency or hotline.

CMtdarden: Up next is californiablu
Californiablu: I work with domestic abuse, and see this all the time: Women are abused and then refuse to prosecute. How can you make women realize they don't have to take abuse?
Patricia_Evans: Californblu, their reality is shaped by verbal abuse. They are constantly blamed and accused. And the culture even asks them what their part was in it. This terrible confusion leads to fear and feelings of powerlessness.
Californiablu: Most of what I see is physical. The new domestic laws aren't working because women aren't following through.
Patricia_Evans: Only since 1992 have we had words to describe and name a verbally abusive relationship. We have a way to go, but if every one of us does our best to reach others, to bring awareness, to tell women what abuse is -- and that there are ways to get away from an abuser -- we will see change.

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