Virtual Breakups: 50 Ways to Delete Your Lover

  • “Critical Differences. Thank you.”
  • “I already found someone.”
  • “I’m gay.”
  • “You are not what I am looking for.”
  • “I’m going to be out of town for a while.”
  • “Thank you, but I’ve stopped looking for love on the Internet.”
  • “I’m married.”
  • “You live in Australia and I live in Alaska, so it won’t work.”
  • “I’m not interested in getting serious right now. Let’s cool it before things progress.”
  • “I’m looking for someone younger.”
  • “I’m looking for someone older.”
  • “Thank you, but no thank you. Good luck.”
  • In order not to hurt their feelings, mention things about yourself that they won’t like: “I don’t believe in God or marriage, and I think drug legalization is the way to go.”
  • Send them the “vibe.”
  • Block them out of your instant messenger program.
  • Change your online name.
  • Disappear.
  • Decline to meet them.
  • Tell them you “suddenly have to go,” and click off of instant messenger.
  • Tell them your computer keeps crashing.
  • “I’m very flattered but I’m looking for something a little different.”
  • “Sorry, this doesn’t feel like a match. Good luck on your journey!”
  • Put a stopper to romantic or sexy talk.
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