Week eight: Continued concerns

 

To make a long story short, Jacob is a wonderfully healthy 19 month old now. Yes, he has spots all over his little body. In addition to his food allergies, we’ve eliminated the foods that traditionally cause a histamine release. We bathe him in 98 degree water and try always to allow him to warm up and cool down gradually. We pat him dry after a bath, and when he was younger learned to burp him without rubbing or really even patting his back. In fact, he’s not had a spot truly bother him for nearly a year now.

Many doctors have said that UP is something that happens by chance. It’s not contagious, caused by heredity, nor was it caused by something I did during pregnancy. I’d love to believe them, but if it was not genetic and was not environmental, and he didn’t “catch” it from someone, what was it? Something made it happen!

I worry that there is something, yet unknown to medical science, which I could have done to prevent it and help make Jacob more comfortable from the start. And if I knew the cause, perhaps I could prevent it from happening again. I know that worrying about it won’t prevent it from recurring in this pregnancy and, all in all, this really isn’t a terrible thing. I guess my biggest concern is that something much more serious could be wrong this time. (Or, as I try to remind myself regularly, this baby could be 100 percent healthy from the start.)

Now I’ve voiced my concerns. I’m hoping this will help me put them to rest. All I can hope is that this baby is as healthy as its big brother, and that if faced with any challenges, it is as strong willed, flexible and courageous as Jacob has been this past year and a half.

 

I feel so blessed to have one healthy child who has overcome his initial challenges. And yet, I worry that since I’ve already been given the greatest gift possible, how could I deserve another?

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