Pregnancy journal:Week eighteen: The ultrasound

And it is … a baby!!! No spilling of the beans here. We have no idea what kind of baby it is. Could be a girl, could be a boy. All that we know is that there is one of him/her in there and that as far as the ultrasound technician and the Dr. could tell, all is well at this point. The baby seems to be exactly the right size for the date, the spine appears to have closed up properly, arms and legs look good, fingers and toes appear to be at the ends of them, and the heart appears to be beating steadily.

I do feel much more relieved. I also feel much more pregnant. We’d seen the baby via ultrasound before, at our first appointment. But now he/she looks like a baby. And, the entire time the ultrasound was in progress our baby was protesting the added pressure on my stomach by pushing at the machine. Now I’ve felt the kick and seen it simultaneously. Now, I’m sure -- I’m pregnant. I believed it before, but as with Jacob, that fact is somehow incomprehensible. Even now, looking at Jacob I can’t believe that one moment there was nothing and then suddenly literally a second later there was a little life. It doesn’t matter if you believe life begins at conception or later, there is no mistaking the fact that somehow when you hold your baby it doesn’t seem possible that that you made this. It truly is a miracle and now, I’ve seen our little one, looking like a tiny baby, just hanging out in there, growing while we wait.


This 15-minute appointment has made me quite excited to meet our little one. It has also made me appreciate Jacob even more. I remember when I first saw him the same way. He looked so tiny, so perfect. Now, two years later, I marvel at the amazing amount of growth that occurs after birth as well. My once-helpless son has now learned to run, jump, talk, etc. He’s light years ahead of where I’d expected he would be. His vocabulary has progressed to the point where we can have actual conversations. I no longer feel like I’m speaking “baby speak” all day. He’s learned amazing concepts such as “opposite” already. He counts to 10 and is desperately trying to learn the alphabet. We were driving the other day and Jacob began shouting “J J J.” As I pulled up to a red light, I glanced back to see that he was pointing to a sign that read “JCT 74” He never ceases to amaze me. I’m beginning to worry that by the time he reaches his second birthday I’ll have nothing left that I can teach him!

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