Pregnancy journal: Week thirty-two, a two-week checkup

Now I may be losing my mind. I think the pregnancy brain has finally set in. I can’t sleep, mostly due to discomfort, but now when I actually fall asleep, I find myself dreaming about anything baby. Somehow, dreams about a tandem stroller we’ll buy and how I’ll ever find suitable cloth diaper covers at a better price than I found with Jacob consume me. (Yes, we use cloth without a diaper service.) I’ve even been dreaming about not being able to sleep. We’re down to eight weeks and yet it seems like an eternity, if only for the fact that I’m exhausted after eight hours. How will I survive eight weeks of sleepless nights?

I say this and then I stop and remember what everyone told me when I was pregnant with Jacob. “What do you mean eight sleepless weeks? This is only the beginning!” So, I can choose to look at this time as preparation for what’s to come, or I can remember that Jacob was a wonderful sleeper (in my bed) and hope that the eight weeks are the outside limit of my sleeplessness. Since we breastfeed, I could feed Jacob without ever touching my feet to the cold floor in the middle of the night. Throw a couple dry diapers, some wipes, a change of baby pajamas and a water bottle for me on the nightstand and we never left the warmth of our blankets or the comfort of our pillows. With that memory fresh in mind I’m going to believe that sleep is only eight weeks away.

We paid another visit to the doctor this week. Somehow having the appointments scheduled only two weeks apart give me a sense of accomplishment. I can’t believe that the “end” is so near. It seems that all is well with our little one. I had some concerns about its positioning. Although I realize that it is still small enough to turn over (and over and over) I was relieved to hear that the doctor also thought it was in a head down position. While we didn’t employ any ultrasound technology to confirm his thoughts, the fact that he located the heartbeat seemingly before the Doppler equipment touched my skin leads me to believe he knew where to look. So, I’ll take heart in the fact that, for the moment at least, the baby appears to have a strong heartbeat, be very active and be prepared to be born in the “proper” position.

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