Week three: Waiting

??? That pretty much sums up my week. What I don't know is driving me nuts!

I so very much want to just take that pregnancy test to find out for sure one way or the other. Of course, it is still too early and I'm sure the test would read negative either way, but it would be so nice to know!

Life progresses despite my uncertainties. I have kept very busy this week. My "baby" brother turned 18 and we celebrated his birthday by taking a road trip to a wonderful discount-everything store in Massachussetts. (Truth be told, we'd set out to go to a car museum, but they closed before we could get there, so this was plan B.) After that, we all went to dinner and had a wonderful time together. So many times throughout I wished I could tell my family the news -- whatever news that may be. Rob and I decided long ago that we wouldn't mention that we were trying until nearly three months after it happened. So, I wait …

My desire to have another baby was momentarily suspended near week's end as Jacob officially turned 18 months old. We took him to visit the doctor and found that he's growing normally and is in good health.

I remember a few months ago, on his nine month "birthday," worrying that my little baby was growing up too quickly. I'd found consolation in the fact that the 18-month-old "children" I knew were really still babies. And, I thought, "That time is still another nine months away, Jacob's still my little baby." Well, here we are! Jacob's just turned 18 months old himself, and after a momentary meltdown I stopped to realize that he

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