List one: Ask a good friend to help you write down everything great about yourself, all your successes and achievements both big and small. List two: Find your ex's flaws. It doesn't matter how much you did or do love him, no one is perfect (not even him). Write down every single fault and weakness you can think of. Stick both lists on your bathroom mirror so you look at them daily. While you're at it, look at yourself in the mirror every morning and evening and say out loud to yourself, "It's over. He's not coming back. I will survive." Keep doing this until you can look yourself right in the eye, speak confidently and believe it.
Surviving a Breakup: Week Four
A shred of self-respect should be resurfacing by now, so it's time to cut the umbilical cord. Ask mutual friends to stop reporting back every piece of gossip about your ex. Don't spend your life trying to find out about his. Beware of friends who encourage you to believe your ex will 'come back: They're trying to make you feel better, but they aren't doing you any favors. Don't believe it unless the words come directly out of your ex's mouth.
Now's a good time to start diagnosing the break-up properly. If you have any good friends whose judgment you trust implicitly, ask them to give input. Was it just bad timing and incompatibility, or are you constantly falling for people who are bad for you? Do you grab onto anyone because you're scared of being on your own? Encourage your friends to be brutally honest and take whatever they say on the chin: If they know you well, there's at least a grain of truth to their theories. If you have a history of bad relationships, consider seeing a therapist for a few sessions. Feel especially tempted to call your ex after all this analysis? Don't! If you really must pour out all your intimate revelations—and are they really any of their business?—write a letter. But wait two weeks before posting it: Chances are, you'll decide he doesn't need to know after all.