The Week-by-Week Breakup Survival Guide

Surviving a Breakup: One Month Later

At this point, a certain amount of logic should be in effect. Even if he came back, could you trust him not to leave you again? Even if you did call and beg for another chance, wouldn't you always wonder if he only accepted because he felt sorry for you? Your brain's exhausted from diagnosing and dissecting the break-up and, quite frankly, you're a bit sick of thinking about it. You stop taking all the blame for the split and realize it's rarely, if ever, one person's fault. Your friends stop worrying you're about to jump off a bridge and call less. Their eyes start to glaze over when you mention your ex's name. You're forced to spend nights alone, and you feel okay about it. Not great, just okay. You still feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness and still wonder (for the 600th time) what your ex is doing at that moment, but it should no longer be the focus of your existence. (If it is, again, get yourself along to see a therapist.) Life goes on.

One final piece of advice at this point: Don't rush to fill the cold spot in your bed. Give yourself time to grieve and heal and sort through all the baggage. The right time to start a fresh, new, serious relationship is when you honestly believe you understand what went wrong the last time and—even more importantly—feel confident of your judgment to pick someone who really will be a happy, healthy choice. Even then, go slowly and keep both eyes wide open—not just to protect yourself, but to savor the new love in your life. Because if there's one advantage to breaking up, it's this: You get to go through that delicious falling-in-love stage, all over again!

Like this? Read these!
- Read the rest of Tracey's columns
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- QUIZ: Are you a compatible couple?
- What is he thinking? Ask the Guy Decoder!

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