Photo Credit: Etsy
We live in our favorite jeans and love them as much as any girl, but there are limits when it comes to denim. Meaning, you'll never (repeat: never) catch us rocking the below looks, which might be the absolute more insane denim wardrobe pieces available for sale right now. While we're still rubbing our eyes in disbelief, behold the horror for yourselves:
Urban OutfittersDainty frayed shoulder cutouts make a potato sack just so feminine.
Not Safe for Work
Nasty GalFor those times when you need to wear your intimates on the outside, there's a denim jumper with corset and garter clips. In acid wash, no less.
Boyfriend Jeans (if Your Boyfriend Is a Filthy Slob)
Urban OutfittersSee, call us weird, but we're always on the hunt for the jeans that flatter us most. But if you prefer ones that flatter you the absolute least, these may be your pair.
Great American Patriot
Urban OutfittersOK, fine. Maybe on the 4th of July. As a joke.
TradesyIf a white wedding gown symbolizes purity, what does a denim one suggest, we wonder?
Business in the Front, Party in the Back
Forever 21... if your business is sex-related and the party's in 1989.
Put the Bedazzler Down and Walk Away
FarfetchThis one reads more "booty" than "bootie."
Shop StyleWe understand the universal comfort that Uggs offer. But these? They're so unattractive that they throw practicality out the window, while simultaneously hitting you over the head with the Ugg (Ugg! Ugg! Ugg!) logo.
Urban OutfittersLooking to integrate a Great Gatsby-inspired fringe into your wardrobe? Try these jean shorts, with their inexplicable fringey butt pockets that are sure to triple the size of your actual backside.
Harness Your Power
Nasty GalIf you encounter an opportunity to go rock climbing or zip lining in the middle of your day, you'll be all set. Same goes if you happen to stumble across a casting call for the next Lara Croft movie.
Motorcycle Enthusiasts Rejoice
EtsyFor all the times we've been riding our hogs and thinking, "Damn, denim chaps would be perfect right about now." (P.S. which is never.)
PajamaJeansPajama jeans: the original offender of denim gone wrong. But really, who can be bothered to get dressed?