At what age should I tell my child she was adopted?

We adopted our three-month-old daughter when she was two weeks old. I know it's too early to be worrying about how we'll explain how she came into our family, but I still do. When is the best time to tell her she's adopted?

Question:

The best time to tell her is when she's able to understand it, at around two to four years old. She won't need a lot of details at first. Give her simple information, such as “Your birth mommy and daddy loved you very much but couldn't take care of you. They looked for a mommy and daddy who loved you very much and could take care of you. They found us, and we love you very much and will always take care of you.”

She'll ask for more information as she gets older. Be open, honest and always available to talk.

Jamie Lee Curtis wrote an excellent picture book that might help you talk about adoption with your daughter, Tell Me Again about the Night I Was Born. She describes the birth and adoption of a new baby and the "birth" of the new family.

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