• Ask your child to show you how he or she would toilet train a doll or stuffed animal. Watch the child' s behavior and listen carefully to commands and instructions. If the child uses abusive language, scolds, and handles the toy roughly, it might be a clue that your own or someone else's attitudes and actions are at fault.
• Or get the child to draw a picture of a bathroom. Ask for explanations of anything you don't understand. You may get some clues about worries or fears the child has been repressing.
Excerpted from Toilet Training: A Practical Guide to Daytime and Nighttime Training by Vicki Lansky