Inspired by 'Modern Family:' What to Do If Your Kids See You Having Sex

In last night's Modern Family, the three Dunphy kids decide to surprise Claire and Phil with breakfast in bed. But instead, they walk in on them doing the deed. Yup, the older kids are grossed out. (One of the girls washes her eyes with soap and water.) The youngest doesn't get it: “Whatever it was, it looked like dad was winning,” he says. As Claire tells Phil, “I'm sure they are traumatized.” So what do you do if this happens to you?

“Stop what you're doing and grab your clothes,” says Jan Faull, M.Ed., author of Amazing Minds: The Science of Nurturing Your Child’s Developing Mind with Games, Activities and More.

Then, it’s time to talk. How you do it depends on their age. “If they're very young, just reassure them that everything is okay, and don't make a big deal,” says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage. “If they're old enough to know what they saw, then it's time to have an honest talk.”

So what, um, exactly should we say? Claire and Phil spend the entire episode dreading the conversation they're destined to have. Faull says to keep it simple and try not to embarrass anyone. “Say, 'Mom and Dad were doing something that is private and only for grown-ups,'” she says. “If they persist [with questions, maybe] it's time to bring out the sex education books.”

Both experts suggested setting yourself up for success in the future by locking the door and making it a rule that the kids always knock before entering.


Have your kids ever walked in on you -- what did you do? Chime in below!

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