Photo Credit: Mike Pont/Getty Images
Martha Stewart is a total catch, and she's ready to be caught! The media mogul and master of garnishes admitted last week that she'd contemplated going on Match.com. Now, under pressure from Today's Matt Lauer, she has actually posted a profile! Watch her explain what she's looking for in the video below. (Hint: It's not marriage!)
"I'd like to have breakfast with somebody. I'd like to sleep with somebody," Stewart matter-of-factly told Lauer.
Well then! This is a lady who knows what she wants, and online dating seems like a fine place to start going after it.
Sure enough, the website Jezebel has found what they believe to be the 71-year-old entrepreneur's profile. It's sweet but a little bit generic, probably because Martha's being cautious. Which is smart. But let's all throw caution to the wind for a minute and come up with a really good Martha Stewart profile!
User Name: GoodAtEverything
Hair color: People say blonde, but it's actually a custom color I like to call Tuscany Sunlight.
Hobbies & interests: Building empires, hand-carving birch bark centerpieces, riding horses I raised from birth through 30 acres of land I cultivated from seedlings.
Tattoos: The lyrics for "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black-Eyed Peas, written in tasteful script on a discreet body part.
My idea of a perfect date: Dinner at a 5-star restaurant with my dog. Or with a man. Whichever.
What I do to relax: Film a TV special about relaxing, which I'll use to market my new "Relaxation" line of bedspreads and towels. I'm loosening up just thinking about it.
My 3 biggest pet peeves: Cakes purchased from supermarkets, backwards toilet paper rolls, those hideous jumpsuits they make you wear in prison.
My idea of the perfect man: Someone who can teach me new things, like that time Snoop Dogg taught me to rap. Someone who's a good sport about losing at tennis, chess, and/or bake-offs. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone as successful as Donald Trump, except -- no, scratch that. Someone who is nothing whatsoever like Donald Trump.
That should get her started, right?
One more suggestion for Martha: Although Match.com is popular, a niche dating site would help narrow it down. A few we think she might like: Millionaire Match, Single Gardeners, Food Lovers Passions, Entrepreneur Date -- and obviously, Cougar Life.