The aphrodisiac for Stuart, as for many over-40 men, is compatibility. If there isn't a certain comfort level with a woman at this stage of a man's life, a relationship can be very frustrating. Bob, a 41-year-old advertising executive, knows this frustration. "It would be easier to meet someone if my primary interest was looks. But if I don't connect with someone in a cerebral way, I lose interest fast. I want to be with someone who laughs at my jokes, who'll take care of me when I'm sick, and let me take care of her. This seems like a mission impossible."
Yes, the 40s man is sensitive, but he's also prone to mid-life crises and heavy-duty alimony payments. Find this disheartening? Just keep in mind that some of the most compatible love matches are between older women and younger men. Why? These two age grooves are actually the most sexually in sync of any combo out there. Coo-coo-ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson.