When Mom Takes Over: iVillage Brides' Solutions

If it seems like your mother doesn't remember just who's walking down the aisle, then you're not alone! Dealing with Mom and planning the wedding of your dreams can be a bit trying. But before you decide to elope, take a look at these iVillage brides' solutions:

Remind Her What It's All About
"Instead of pushing against her on everything that she is doing, ask [your mother] if she is really doing it for the guests, or is she trying to fulfill a dream of a wedding that maybe she didn't have. She just wants you to be happy, and make sure that she understands that you know that.

Plus, remind your mom that it is more important that you and your soon-to-be-husband are happy with your wedding than the happiness of the guests. This is the most important day of your life, it is the begining of your life together, and it should be the way that you want it, the way that makes you both happy." --from iVillager desk_doc

She Wants to Help -- So Let Her!
"You should understand the psychology of a parent involved with a wedding (particularly the bride's parent). They feel as though this will be the last opportunity they will ever have to be part of the decision making process of their child. So, of course many parents go a little overboard. Solution: give them a task to do that they can sink their teeth into. Make it a considerable one, so they don't have time to interfere with the elements you do want to control. Whatever you do -- do not tell your parents to belt up and butt out!"

Keep the Peace with a Third Party
"Thus far, having a someone neutral, a friend or a close relative (cousin, or aunt) present has prevented some major blow-ups with my mom. We don't have the best relationship so we are both trying to not lose our patience. With someone else there we tend to mind ourselves better." --from iVillager 1njgirl

She Who Pays the Bills, Plans the Wedding
"Do what will make you and your future husband happy on that day. You will regret it if you don't, as I did. One good thing -- as an "older" couple, we paid for everything ourselves with no assistance from our families. This way we had absolute say-so over all wedding matters." --from iVillager cbani

Thanks for the Memories
"If you haven't stopped to thank your mom, or given her acknowledgement for all of the things she has done right, you might give it a try. You might even let her know that she did a great job as a mother. It may ease some of the tension and create an opening for you to work together. Remember, she has been dreaming of your wedding for longer than you have."


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