When a new mommy body equals no libido

I gained 50 pounds during pregnancy. Though I looked healthy while pregnant, now I am left with the soft folds of fat that remain. I still look five months pregnant and my baby is almost one month old! My husband is very anxious to resume some sort of sex life since I wasn't too interested in the last trimester. I hate my new body and the last thing I want to think about is sex (and him seeing me naked!). I am worried that I will stay fat forever and never feel sexual again.

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ABOUT THE EXPERT

Gayle Peterson

Gayle Peterson, PhD, is a family therapist specializing in prenatal and family development. She is a clinical member of the Association... Read more

Perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed by your new bundle of joy, and working hard to reorganize your life around your new baby. This first month can bring up a flood of feelings, as you adapt to the lifestyle change of becoming a mom.

You may be focusing more on body image, than changes in identity that ensue during the postpartum period. Taking your own frustration seriously is crucial to your emotional health.

Make the time to take care of your needs. Join a new mothers’ support group and meet other women working through the same feelings. Treat yourself to a massage, schedule time to exercise, join a yoga class and eat a healthy diet. Make your goal one of self-acceptance. It is your attitude about your body that must be turned around if you are to enjoy sex again!

Let your husband know what you need. Perhaps you just need to know that he loves you and still finds you attractive. Let him know that you need this assurance. Verbal appreciation and expressions of love and caring can go a long way during this emotional period of transition.

Rest assured, once you stop directing your frustration into hating your body, your self-esteem will return, along with your sexual feelings.

Are bad feelings about flab keeping you from feeling good? Take this quiz and find out if your body image is bad for the bedroom.

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