Why am I laughing during sex?

Dear Dr. Patti:

I read your column about a woman was worried because she "cried" during orgasm. Your response mentioned that laughter, too, can be a symptom of heightened pleasure.

My problem is that even though I have clitoral orgasms, I have almost never experienced a vaginal orgasm. However, I HAVE more recently gotten a terrible case of the giggles -- out of the blue -- and could not stop. I almost ruined the moment because my husband couldn't help but laugh because I was laughing. To my recollection, I was feeling something very good and couldn't deal with it in any other way. It was almost TOO much for me to handle. I don't believe I reached an orgasm, but that I was probably (or possibly) very near it. I didn't get the feeling that everyone describes, the feeling of explosion. What do you think? Can you help me to determine exactly what was going on?

-- O


Dear O:

You are one of the legions of women who are in search of the Technicolor O but never get there. First, your quest of the explosion is most common; so is your experience of the bursting bubble of expectation, as some women (and even men) feel differing emotions and sensations, some of which never approach that explosive level of release. Tension is necessary throughout your whole body, not just the sexual parts, building up to a crescendo after the symphonic interludes. I suspect that you two are not playing your instrument quite enough or in the right manner to free you.

A giggle is one of those energetic release mechanisms that the human body so mysteriously expels when it wants to let out what has been building inside. That may be the result of too much air, too much tension building in the muscles of your body, or even your own unique brand of orgasmic discharge. Whatever it is, it's perfectly normal for you and may reoccur. If so, perhaps you and your hubby can anticipate this type of reaction on your part and know that this is something to ride out, like a huge breaking wave on the ocean surface, and let it take you out to shores unknown. Laughter is an incredibly opening force, one with which you and he may together until the energy takes a new course, which it will eventually.

As for your not reaching that point of vaginal orgasm, take more time for direct clitoral stimulation, even getting to your first orgasm that way; then allow his penetration to take you deeper and further than before. That may be your ticket.