"Why Are You Single?" 5 Feisty (and Funny) Comebacks

Feel as though you're the only singleton on the block, especially on holidays? Don't despair. More importantly, don't run out of feisty comebacks for the happily coupled family members who want to know why you aren't married yet. As Karen Salmansohn, author of Even God Is Single will tell you, there are nearly as many answers as the amount of times you've been asked. In the excerpt below, you'll find 5 popular answers to this pesky question, many even include factors to blame other than yourself and/or your thighs...

"Why aren't you married?" After hearing that question, you will pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word), and give one of the following:

1. In the beginning, there were no stairmasters or low-fat-high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum.
Meaning? The pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances (and the fine line of SnackWell products) we can all hope to live to age 80. Easy.

Meaning? Even if we get married at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. And divorced? What's the hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Hitler got married. Frankenstein got married. Linda Tripp got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:

Catwoman: single.
Buddha: single.
Aphrodite: single.
The Lone Ranger. Actually, all superheroes are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right, etc.

4. Then there's The Ultimate Superhero -- God. Also single. And God is even a single-parent household.

5. It's easy to become married. 2.3 million people do it a year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging? Like an astrophysicist.


Excerpted from Even God Is Single (So Stop Giving Me a Hard Time) by Karen Salmansohn with permission from Workman Publishing, New York

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