A: Dear mmannion, he sounds positively awful. The best thing that ever happened to you was losing this man. The adjectives lying, confused and abusive spring to mind, and I'm proud of you for not giving him the time of day after he called you the ''C'' word. It's ironic, isn't it? You can have a great relationship but the way it's ended can make it seem as if the whole thing was a lie. I'd say something has happened to change your boyfriend, or someone is influencing him in the wrong direction. Either way, you're better off without him, as you know.
What's most interesting, though, is the fact that you say men treat you nicely while you're in the relationship but treat you badly when you break up. The only reason I can think of is that you may not let go. If they try to end it nicely and you hang on, this might explain (though not justify) their behavior. If that doesn't ring true, think about the other details of the breakup. What sorts of things are they saying to you after they break up? Why do you think they turn nasty? Is it because you're nasty to them? Hopefully I've hit the right buttons here (or I could be way off track), and please, I know you're hurting. But I think anyone reading your letter would agree on one thing: You deserve better.
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