Why do I get so bored so fast?

I can be with the greatest guy in the world, but I get bored after six months and start thinking about moving on. What is wrong with me? --Rharber

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Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Rharber:

You don't say how old you are. There's a big difference between a 21-year-old who prefers the thrill of the hunt and a 41-year-old who still considers monogamy a code for monotony.

Did you grow up with the example of a loving, committed duo or were your parents a poster couple for dysfunction? And what were your early romantic experiences like? If you were betrayed and hurt by someone you trusted, perhaps now you subconsciously cut and run just as you're on the brink of becoming truly vulnerable to a man. When you see yourself five years down the line, are you a gal about town or happily partnered, perhaps with a child?

I throw out all these questions not because I think there is something "wrong" with you (there is no law that says you must be in a long-term relationship in order to be happy) but because you do. One part of you obviously craves intimacy while another part fears it. The best way to reconcile these dissonant longings is to do some serious analysis of your psyche and motivations. In the long run, you might decide you prefer short-term relationships. Or you might "conquer" your intimacy demons and commit to one of these great guys you're always meeting.

Again, the bottom line isn't that you commit to a man, but that you commit to figuring out your romantic needs and how best to fulfill them.

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