Why don't men go for nice girls?

Dear Sherry,

How come men don't go for nice girls? People say I'm kind, considerate and fun to be around. I do the eye contact thing and love to smile. So what's wrong with me?

Frustrated in Utica


Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Frustrated

In a perfect world, "nice" would be code for "sexy" rather than "nerd" or "mousy". However, it's human nature in all but the most well-adjusted among us (and they're seldom fun!)to long for the one who drives us crazy rather than the one who'd drive us to the dentist for root canal. Act like an eager pup -- panting, begging and fetching -- and you'll likely be treated like a dog.

I'm not saying to nix the niceness (hey, I'd rather be smiled at than have mud thrown in my eye), but do it in moderation. For instance, if a new beau is overwhelmed by bills, treat him to dinner, not your bank account.

And get that "what am I doing wrong?" mantra out of your head! If that's your inner attitude, I'd bet my bank account that's your outward demeanor as well. Keep telling yourself that any man would be lucky to have a prize like you and eventually (hopefully before the millenium), you'll believe it.


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