When we hear the word "splitting," most of us probably think of "splitting up," or splitting in the sense of leaving ('let's split' or get out of here!). I'd like to bring up another use of the word
Splitting can also be thought of as a word that describes a psychological dynamic, a defense mechanism in which a person tends to see things
In separation or divorce situations, splitting frequently takes place in an unconscious effort to protect us from feeling bad about ourselves: in other words, "It isn't me who's rotten, it's him (or her)!" In an effort to protect ourselves from feeling like a failure, from a loss of self-esteem, or from taking responsibility for a marriage ending, we sometimes blame the other guy completely. It's a way of making ourselves feel better at the expense of the other spouse. As splitting continues, the result can be that the ex is perceived as a kind of hideous monster.
