Will engagement solve our problems?
Dear Sherry:
I have been dating my boyfriend for one year. I am still unsure whether he is "the one," but he wants to move forward with the relationship regardless of my being unsure. We are starting counseling tomorrow as a means of deciding together whether this step toward marriage is the right one. He feels any problems we have we will work out along the way. I, on the other hand, would like to work on these problems before getting engaged to see whether they are solvable. We also have a very bad habit of arguing to the point of no return that ends up with one of us being very hurt. It is incredible we have made it together this long. We know we fight unfairly but can't get over our own insecurities by ourselves. Any advice in this department?
Sarah
Sherry Amatenstein
Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more
Dear Sarah:
Way to go, girl! Engagement and marriage are not the cure to an ailing relationship. Refreshing as it is to read about a man who's ready to commit, you're wise not to want to take that step until you're sure about your feelings.
Give the counseling a chance. If it turns out the relationship isn't fated to last, you'll know you gave it your all. And, at the very least, you'll learn valuable tools about how to fight fair. That's a skill you're sure to need no matter who you're involved with. Best of luck.
