Will he ever leave his wife?

ON Jan 1, 1999 at 12:00PM

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Dear Sherry

My boyfriend and I have been in an intense relationship for months, but recently I found out that he is married and has kids. He says he will get a divorce. Should I leave this man or wait to see if he is really going to leave her?

Em

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ABOUT THE EXPERT

Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Em

You've been dating your one and only for months and only recently discovered he was married with kids? Wake up and smell the lies, Em. Even if this man does love you (in whatever mysterious way he would define love), he doesn't respect you enough to level with you about something as basic as marital status.

Of course things between the two of you are intense. You've got all the ingredients -- drama, deceit and doubt -- for passion of Romeo-and-Juliet-style dimensions. Humor me for a moment: Take away the star-crossed aspects of your relationship that seemingly make you destined to be together. Pretend you're just another couple shopping together for toilet paper and cat food. Not as heart-stopping a picture, is it?

So how long should you wait for him to leave his wife? Puhleez. Even if he did get a divorce and marry you, with his track record, how long would it take till you were looking over your shoulder waiting for the next mistress to show up?

Sherry

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