When Money is His...(continued)
"I feel guilty buying things for myself, even things like diet Coke (I am the only one who drinks it) because I don't have a job that earns an income. Nothing makes me feel more worthless than knowing I am spending someone else's money and everything we have, we bought together; the appliances, furniture and car are his and I don't have a dime to my name," says iVillager wamot.
KaLestra adds, "He sees the things that I want to be less important than the things that he wants, so getting myself a nice dress or for that matter redoing our kitchen chairs (which look horrid and are down to just the foam) is low priority. I am glad that he doesn't say that just because I don't have a job I can't get what I want, but sometimes I feel that it is implied."
Separate or Shared Finances?
This discussion brought up the question of the best way for men and women to manage joint finances.
Some of you argued for shared finances: "I know some people go into a marriage saying they want separate checking accounts in case it doesn't work out. Some of you will find this naive, but I can't imagine entering a marriage without complete faith that it will work out. That's just me," Meg says.
Others, like TWNKathyW have discovered the benefits of splitting finances. "I recently opened my own checking account and now I don't have to feel guilty for spending anything on myself. I know that sounds old fashioned, but there are so many control issues with money! Who ever has it in household has the power, or so it seems."