Got a Friend Trying to Conceive? Here Are 12 Things Not to Say

You might think that it's common sense to avoid making insensitive remarks to a woman who is trying to get pregnant. But as these comments from the iVillage Community prove, even an off-the-cuff quip that was meant to be funny or encouraging can leave your trying-to-conceive friend shaking her head or fuming on the inside.

"You better hurry up and get pregnant already or we won't be pregnant together." and "It's not that hard, my [husband] and I only had sex once during the last month. We weren't even trying." -- betsy2773

"Go on vacation and then you'll get pregnant." and "Just get drunk and do it, that's how I got pregnant." -- jamieokc

"Why are you TTC?? You already have two children." -- donnabelle 210

"[To the husband] Something must be wrong with your equipment since you haven't gotten her pregnant yet." -- sandgc
"You know you're not getting any younger?!" and "Wow it's taking you a lot longer this time!" -- mrstidy

"Don't you want kids?" and "So when are you guys having a baby?" -- angel_baby

"If one more person tells me to relax and then it will happen, I might just punch them in the nose! If one more person tells me to adopt and then I will get pregnant, I might just kick them in the shins! If one more person jokingly offers me their children, I might just pack them up and bring them home!" -- shinybritty

"So, which one of you is infertile?" -- babyplease4me

"Oh, children are trouble, are you sure you want kids NOW?" -- what_i_hopedfor

"You guys are just trying too hard." and "You better hurry up so our kids can all play together!" -- tiggerrenn

"You are married! Everyone has kids the first year of marriage." -- kiwiange

"Oh, I guess you all decided NOT to have children, huh?" and "You two must be having too much fun to want to complicate your lives with kids!" -- lindarx

Of course, if you're TTC and you hear any of these comments, having a good comeback could be the key to keeping your cool. Some of my favorites:

"It sucks. I just want to yell, 'stay out of my uterus!!'" --mm1970

"I used to just play along when people asked me about when we were going to start having kids. I would say. 'I'm sorry have you met my husband? He should never reproduce.' Hahaha..."

"It got so bad before we tried that I told everyone who asked that we had decided to NOT have children." -- mrstidy

"My actual, non-violent solution is to just appreciate that they do want the best for me and know that they'll be putting positive energy out there for me." --shinybritty

"Sometimes hearing a person say, 'I have nothing to say that can make you feel better' and just offer you a hug or shoulder to cry on is what can make things better. Don't pretend to know how I feel when your house is full of kids." -- jem_faerie

Trying to conceive? Connect with other TTC women here.

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