Words of Wisdom from the Breakup Doctors

"What is it about us women that we feel so destroyed because someone picked someone else besides us? It is just one failed relationship — and almost everyone has quite a few of them in their lifetime. The trick is to grieve over the end of your hopes for that relationship without thinking that it predicts the future. It doesn't."
—Dr. Pepper Schwartz

"My opinion — and you won't like it — is that in fact, you do not love him. You are addicted to him, obsessed with him, sure, but love is a mutual state of adoration that is grounded in deep admiration and abiding friendship and respect for each other. And you two do not have that. You speak about him the way an addict speaks about their substance, as though it is impossible to do without it. You say you can't do no contact, but you can do it. You just don't want to."
—Grrl Genius Cathryn Michon

"Treasure your family or friends or a dog or a sunset. Don't let this guy take the pleasure and privilege of each and every day away from you. Sure it hurts. But remind yourself how lucky you are in other ways. Then stay away from his family or anything that reminds you of him. When you can, start dating again. But it is your job now to distract yourself from thinking about him. You can do this! Start one day at a time keeping yourself busy and you will find, day by day, slowly but surely, you will think about him less."
—Dr. Pepper Schwartz

"For the most part, people cope with things the way they always have; they aren't likely to change. I think part of the dating process is finding out whether or not someone else's approach to life is a match to yours, and sometimes you might end up dating a great guy who just isn't a match for you. That doesn't make him wrong; it just makes him someone who might be wrong for you."

—Grrl Genius Cathryn Michon

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