We anxiously awaited the arrival of John Mayer, hoping he would be a man and escort rumored-girlfriend Jessica Simpson down the red carpet. Whomp, whomp! John walked the press line alone, and refused to answer questions regarding his "secret" relationship. (Though he did give Ryan Seacrest some kind of a message — in Japanese!) Get over yourself, John — it would have been much cooler to see you, with Jess on your arm, and your head held high.